Today the former girlfriend and I spent some time together. Now before you drop your jaw and go “WHAT!? WHY!?” I need to tell you that we had this setup before the breakup, and it’s something that we felt needed to be done together since the other party was looking forward to seeing both of us. I was a little nervous because I went to pick her up so we could go together, and I was thinking “Gosh! What are we going to talk about? Is it going to be weird? How’s this going to go?” I was a NERVOUS WRECK! I showed up to her house, and since she had mail that was sent to my house (our old place) I went up to her door, and was invited in by her Mom, I will say it was kind of hard going in and talking to her Mom. When in a relationship you not only fall in love with a person during this, but over time you fall in love with their entire family! I miss her family like crazy, they just brought a whole other dimension that my family didn’t bring so it was kind of cool to have two TOTALLY separate families to love!
So we get in the car and I have to be honest this is where I started to get really nervous! I thought it was going to be awkward, but honestly fifteen seconds into the drive and it felt like I was hanging out with an old friend. We talked more than we have in a long time, caught each other up on our lives, and talked about so many other things, it was really nice to be able to just talk and know that someone that “gets you” was listening. I normally just come home, and after a rough day I crawl into bed and either text a friend, do some work, or watch some TV. One of the MAJOR things I miss is the fact that I can’t vent to someone who “truly gets me” and I had the chance to talk to my “Oldest Best Friend” today and it felt so good to be able to just “talk”. I didn’t miss her as a “love interest”, I missed that “friend connection” that we both shared with each other. It was great being able to talk about everything and not having to explain why that upset me that way, because she JUST GETS IT! Then again my former girlfriend is one of the nicest, sweetest, most caring person you will meet. I know everyone says that about their friends or girlfriend, but everyone that has met her would agree that she is a TOTAL sweetheart.
I was scared that I might have pushed her away a little bit when I got emotional over a story about someone who reached out to me post breakup that was a surprise to me, but I was more emotional over who the person was, and it was the first I talked of the story and it’s context and it was so moving that even almost two months later it’s still a moving story for me, so I did cry when we were on the way home but it was because of this person reaching out to me and making me feel loved at a time when I was feeling unloved. So I may have made her feel uncomfortable, but I hope that the friend in her realizes that I was just emotional over the story than the break up.
All in all I felt like I was hanging out with my “old friend” today and not my “former girlfriend” and it was REALLY nice.
So I haven’t been around in awhile! How about some catching up?
First let’s celebrate over 300,000 hits!!! That’s something to be proud of right? I feel bad that I’ve gotten that many, and I haven’t been posting that much. So thank you to all those who continue to stop by and see how I’m doing (It only records you once), and thanks to all the new visitors for coming and visiting!
I am training for a 5K, then I’ll train for a half marathon! I am running every other morning with a friend who I have re-kindled a friendship with, and let me tell you she motivates me big time to get my workout IN! There is no slacking with her as my trainer, but I can’t thank her enough for what she has been doing for me, and I think she knows how much this means to me. It’s not only nice to get out and run, but it’s nice to be able to talk to someone too while getting some exercise in as well.
I am running for City Council in my hometown, I am super excited to be able to do this, I have the backing that I need, a great team in place, and the support that I have always wanted. It’s going to be a fun ride into November but I’ve never been so ready for something in a REALLY LONG TIME! It’s what I need right now in my life and I’m excited that I am taking on this new venture.
With all that being said I bet your wondering how “I AM DOING PERSONALLY”? That’s a good question, that I am more than happy to answer. I’m in such a good place in my life right now, I’m happy, I’m motivated, and I feel like I have everything on the track that it needs to be on. I’m pretty much OVER the heart break that is “the breakup”, it took me a good month to come to terms with the loss of a great fiancé. There were times that I would not be thinking about it, then out of no where someone would bring something up that would make me stop and think about her and the “what if”, but now when somebody mentions her, or asks about her I am able to answer it without tearing up, or getting emotional about it. I’ve had a very stressful week this week and I found myself coming home at night and wishing she was here so I could just talk to her about everything that’s been going on. I stopped myself last week from crying because I thought to myself “I wish she were here to go through this campaign stuff with me”, but as quickly as those emotions come, they go. I guess you can say I’m 90% healed from the hurt of losing her. I tell people the part that sucks the most is that her and I were best friends before dating, so not only did I lose a girlfriend, but at the same time I lost my BEST FRIEND! So I find myself trying to connect with old friendships to help fill the void of where she used to fill that “friend” space. Sure I could text her, or call her, but I’m not sure if that’s what she wants? I’m worried that if I do something like that she will take it as “he wants to get back with me”. I sometimes look at my phone and go “I wish a text from her would come through, it would make this hard day so much easier.” But then a friend texts me, and it makes me realize that more than one person loves me, I just have to take the time to think that.
Even though I’m 90% healed, I would say that I don’t miss the “girlfriend” aspect, as I do the “best friend” aspect of the former girlfriend. I’m sure one day that other 10% will be healed by the love that I am getting from other friends, or her and I will re-connect not as a “couple” but as “friends” because even though people come and go, you secretly wish that your “TRUE BEST FRIEND” will somehow come back!
Until Next Time…..