Five Things Single People Do Not Want To Hear During The Holidays:

Get ready, the holiday season is only seven days away. If you are going to the parties without a “significant other” get ready for you to be the main focus of the questioning. 

1.) “I know the perfect person for you!”
Guess what? No you don’t! There are reasons why I talk to you on major holidays and major holidays only. Let’s review: you have no idea what size shirt I wear and you certainly have no idea I hate The Walking Dead. If we were the type of people who talk more than three times a year, you’d know a medium size on me hasn’t happened in at least seven holiday seasons. And zombies? I’m the one person in the world who just doesn’t understand the appeal. So guess what? Before you hook me up with the perfect person, I think you should at least find me a better shirt than the one you clearly found on the clearance rack two day before our holiday party. Because if I don’t like the shirt at least I don’t have to send it an awkward text that says, “It’s not you, it’s me.”

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2.) “How are you still single?”
Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because there is no one on earth for me, Aunt Carol. Maybe it’s because I’m so hideously ugly that I don’t think another human would want to have contact with me, even if I am one of the only survivors of a zombie apocalypse (seriously, what is with the zombie obsession, people?!).

Trust me, if I could tell you why I’m still single, do you think I would be sitting next to you, complimenting you on your rather dry green bean casserole?

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3.) “Have you talked to him/her since you have broken up?”
Yes! Every day! And just for fun, we meet for coffee on the third Wednesday of every month! We like to sit in Starbucks, drink our over-priced lattes, and talk about how great things used to be and how awesome our lives could be if we’d just get back together already!
You know, Aunt Marcie, there’s a reason why my relationship ended. And one of those reasons just happens to be a lack of communication. Do you think if we weren’t talking THEN we’d be talking NOW? Nope, didn’t think so either.

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4.) “Tell me what you are looking for and I will find you someone.”
Yeah, I’m going to tell you what I’m looking for. Remember that one time I told you that I lost my Frisbee and you asked what it looked like? You brought me a boomerang at Christmas and said, “Hey! I found your Frisbee!” If you can’t find me the right piece of round plastic what makes you think I would trust you in finding my life partner? Seriously here, folks.

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5.) “The right person will come along, just give it time. I bet by this time next year you’ll be married.”
The right person? Give it time? Married?! YOU KIDDING ME? How much time do I give it if you predict within the next 365 days I will meet, date, and marry someone? Hold your horses, it takes me longer than that to choose a new iPhone case. I think I’m on the verge of a panic attack just thinking about it!

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Quick, someone pass me the nog. Is it January 2nd yet

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It’s Time To Move On….

Well, I just came off of the hardest 6 months of my life. Every day was an adventure, ups, downs, peaks, valleys, every cliche saying describes the last six months perfectly. None of it was about my previous relationship! Nope, it had to do with the fact that I ran for city council in my hometown. What better way to get over a breakup then throw yourself in the public eye RIGHT AFTER losing your long time girlfriend right? Did you pick up on the sarcasm? Her and I broke up the day after I announced my run for city council, so there was no turning back.

It’s time now that I focus on my life post-breakup/post-election. So I have started to entertain the idea of getting back into the dating game. The thought of that alone scares the crap out of me. What are the rules of this new phase of my life? Am I likable? Am I good looking enough to even consider this? Should I go on a diet first? What is the terminology I need to get down before I do this? I haven’t dated as an adult so the rules are WAY different now then they were when I was in high school. I can no longer take a girl to Applebee’s and a movie, then drop her back off at her parents. No, now I need to find someone who understands me for me. Let’s be honest, I’m not exactly of the ummmmmm…..”Norm”!?

But here’s to the new journey that I plan to take you all on, will I find love? Will I suffer from defeat? Will I have my heart broken? Will I be Catfished? What awaits me on the path ahead? I don’t know what it is but I will take you all on the journey with me….Here’s goes nothing!

Until next time, please understand that EVERY VOTE COUNTS!

I lost by 95 votes, out of right around 6,000 registered voters in my ward only 981 voted, that’s a 16.7% turnout for voting.

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Letter To My Former Girlfriend

Former Girlfriend,

Hey! I’ve been getting along quite nicely lately so I thought I would write a letter as if I were actually going to send this to you. I use the downtime to keep myself busy and my mind off of things. I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t have my “moments of weakness”. It’s hard you know? The hardest part of this whole situation is when someone asks how you (Former Girlfriend) are doing and I have to go through the whole explanation that we aren’t together any more. There are times when I want to get home to you and just talk to you about a situation that is going on in my life, because you get me more than anyone. There are times when I want to sit there and hear how your day went as well, because I thought you had a pretty cool job and I loved hearing all about it.

It’s weird coming home to the place that we both put our mark on during our first year out in the real world together. Sitting in the living room now working on the laptop or watching TV often makes me look at the floor and remember our times spent playing board games, and laughing over not knowing the “updated rules” to Candy Land. Remember when we had nothing when we moved in? We had to rely on our friends and family to help us make our house a “home”? Remember the memories we shared together during that time? Cooking, cleaning, laundry, it was all so much more special when you were here with me doing it together. I miss the phone calls asking what we wanted to do for dinner (even though it was like pulling teeth).

Things are starting to turn around for me! Work is going great, the gym is going to be opening soon and I know I’m going to be busy with that. My Lions Club Zone Chairman responsibilities have officially started and I am looking forward to all  I will get to experience with that position. The one thing that is really keeping me busy is the Campaign for City Council, can you believe this is actually happening? It’s crazy! I told you my dream was to always be involved with the City that I love, and you were the one who TRULY BELIEVED in me, and always told me to “go for it”! Even though I knew deep down inside it probably sucked having me gone for some kind of meeting or event. I’m holding my first fundraiser next month and I so wish you could be there to support me like you had over the past almost 7 years.

Our story has inspired a TON of people! Can you believe that? People have come to the blog from Russia, Japan, Spain, Africa, USA, Canada, UK you name it people have come to follow my journey from the time of our last hug on May 24th until now, when I am finally able to talk about you without my heart breaking into a million pieces. When I get the e-mails from people asking me how I can be so strong I tell them that it’s easy when you end a relationship so cleanly, and have no hate for the person. I guess we just lucked into a “good breakup”. It’s crazy how much you love someone, and when it ends you don’t think you will ever get over the pain. Then with each passing day you know that life works in weird ways, the heart heals, the mind heals, and above all else your spirit heals. Life sure has been filled with ups and downs since May, but like I told you all along “the only thing in life that I want is for you to be as happy as you made me” I hope you are realizing how great it is to be one of the happiest people alive. You gave me that feeling every day for A LONG TIME, and even though I felt that I would no longer be happy when we ended it, I think of something crazy and unique we did and that happiness comes back over me.

Today was a special day for us and I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you today! Hope you have a wonderful day doing things that make you happy. I for one will be cleaning, doing laundry, and figuring out what to cook for dinner (you know “fun” stuff).

Oh and by the way the other day “You’re my best friend” by Queen came on the radio and it made me smile and think back to when we first met! Every time I think that I’m ok with everything the world throws me a reminder of you! I think it’s because no matter where life leads us, we will always have a special place in each others hearts.

See you around!

Sam

I’ve been listening to this song a lot recently.

Until next time everyone remember to always be kind, and don’t let the world bring you down!

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Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone…..

I/We made it almost 3 months…….

These past three months have been filled with such a range of emotions that I had no idea a human being could feel. The emotions being love, heartbreak, sadness, happiness, support, aloneness, and anything in between. It’s been filled with so many highs, and sadly lows. Sometime’s its hard to really dig yourself out of those lows and the only thing you think will help is laying in bed all day trying to find something on NetFlix’s to get you through it(I’ve been there).

The topic of todays blog is pretty straight forward, and something that I used to be comfortable with. But as I’ve grown older I’ve enjoyed more of the “behind the scenes” approach to situations. The topic at hand deals with a “Bachelors Live Auction” that a friend of mine annomiously (at the time) nominated me for through a local radio station. I was NOT wanting to do this, but when they said that a charity I’m very passionate about would get the money, and that charity had already been notified I went ahead and moved forward with it…..Anxiety was at an all tim HIGH that entire day. The “Old Sam” would have felt completely comfortable with doing something like this, but the “new Sam” was not cool with this, but I put on a smile and showed up. It was nerve wrecking, and one of the weirdest situations I’ve been put in up to this point “post-breakup”.

Was I uncomfortable because I was going in this alone not knowing of the outcome? Was it because it was the first thing I did without the former girlfriend by my side? Was it because I felt like a total D-Bag? All those reasons were what made this event hard for me, but the main reason was because I was scared to death I’d only sell for $2.00 (if I even sold at all). The guys that I went up against were VERY GOOD LOOKING guys, “model material” actually. I sucked it up and said to myself “this is for charity” and went through with it, looking back at it now I’m glad that I did do this event. Stepping out of my comfort zone on Monday has opened my eyes to a whole new world, one that I was blinded to for a couple of months while I went through this transition in my life. I encourage all of you to step out of your comfort zone and open your eyes to a world you may not have even noticed existed.

I have been blessed to have a very “loyal following” on here. With everything that has been going on I understand that I’m not the only one going through this kind of situation right now with the same emotions. So I’m going to answer THE MOST e-mailed question to me!

Q: Do you miss your former girlfriend? You seem so strong through all of this.

A: YEAH! Wouldn’t you miss someone after sharing your life with them for almost seven years? Wouldn’t you miss being with them almost 24/7, cracking inside jokes, arguing over THE DUMBEST things, and sharing the littlest life moments together? Those “little life moments” to some wouldn’t seem like much, but to you, you wish you could just take that “little moment” back and re-live it for just one hour. The past two weeks I’ve been reflecting on the “little life moments” that her and I shared and I would give anything to be able to re-live my favorite one with her again. I took the little times for granted at the time, and now that I can’t take them back they mean even more to me. I miss when she would just look at me, and smile because that’s when I knew that everything wrong in my world for a brief second was OK, because of the love she had for me, and I had for her.  So YES! I do miss her, but at the same time if I dwell on the past I can’t move forward. I will take what her and I had and remember all the moments, because even though we didn’t get the ending we both thought we would, we still share memories together that no one will EVER be able to replace.

Oh, and BTW! I SOLD at the Charity Auction……
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“Today” is the “Tomorrow”, you were worried about “Yesterday”…

Just a quick post today as I am knee deep in work.

 

People tend to think that those who are going through something as rough as a breakup are in a “delicate” mind frame. Everyone copes differently and reacts to a situation differently than the next, but I would think that everyone who is going through a breakup is more “in tune” with themselves than before the breakup. When you are in a relationship you are focusing so much on not only yourself, but also the person who you share your daily life with. For many people it’s quite a transition between taking care of two, and now taking care of one.

 

My “Pen Pal” asked me the other week “What was Sam like before the relationship?” That was a question that took me off guard, and I didn’t know how to answer that? Because I honestly don’t remember the Sam from before having the former girlfriend in my life. I remember that I was a lot more “blunt” than I was after her and I started dating, she really brought me back down to earth and made me understand that I need to “think before I speak” then again I was young, and didn’t really “think before I spoke”. So it’s really hard to sit here and think “What was Sam like 8 years ago?” I guess I’m still trying to figure that out, so it’s a question I can’t answer RIGHT NOW. I can tell you that right now I’m in a great place, and I’m happy with everything that I have in my life. I think a lot of my GREAT attributes are a reflection of what she taught me to correct, I totally believe in the saying “behind every great man, is an even greater woman.”

 

I have friends who are trying to “suggest” people to me, and it’s weird, as I really want to “let love happen”. The former girlfriend and I just “kind of happened”, so that’s what I want to happen again. So whether I wait for 9 days or 9 years, if it happens, it happens. But until that happens I’m going to continue loving what I have, and who I have, and focus on the things that are important to me, and the people in my life right now. I’m really enjoying things as they come, every day is an adventure, some days are rough waters, and other days are fields of plain, flat grass. You have to take whatever life deals you and hope that you can turn it into a great hand.

 

Trust me, things are starting to get better and back on May 23rd, I would have never thought I would be here on July 9th saying that to you.

 

I really can’t stop singing “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke …I think we can deem this a “problem” at this point!

 

 

Losing Not Just A Girlfriend But A Best Friend.

Today the former girlfriend and I spent some time together. Now before you drop your jaw and go “WHAT!? WHY!?” I need to tell you that we had this setup before the breakup, and it’s something that we felt needed to be done together since the other party was looking forward to seeing both of us. I was a little nervous because I went to pick her up so we could go together, and I was thinking “Gosh! What are we going to talk about? Is it going to be weird? How’s this going to go?” I was a NERVOUS WRECK! I showed up to her house, and since she had mail that was sent to my house (our old place) I went up to her door, and was invited in by her Mom, I will say it was kind of hard going in and talking to her Mom. When in a relationship you not only fall in love with a person during this, but over time you fall in love with their entire family! I miss her family like crazy, they just brought a whole other dimension that my family didn’t bring so it was kind of cool to have two TOTALLY separate families to love!

So we get in the car and I have to be honest this is where I started to get really nervous! I thought it was going to be awkward, but honestly fifteen seconds into the drive and it felt like I was hanging out with an old friend. We talked more than we have in a long time, caught each other up on our lives, and talked about so many other things, it was really nice to be able to just talk and know that someone that “gets you” was listening. I normally just come home, and after a rough day I crawl into bed and either text a friend, do some work, or watch some TV. One of the MAJOR things I miss is the fact that I can’t vent to someone who “truly gets me” and I had the chance to talk to my “Oldest Best Friend” today and it felt so good to be able to just “talk”. I didn’t miss her as a “love interest”, I missed that “friend connection” that we both shared with each other. It was great being able to talk about everything and not having to explain why that upset me that way, because she JUST GETS IT! Then again my former girlfriend is one of the nicest, sweetest, most caring person you will meet. I know everyone says that about their friends or girlfriend, but everyone that has met her would agree that she is a TOTAL sweetheart.

I was scared that I might have pushed her away a little bit when I got emotional over a story about someone who reached out to me post breakup that was a surprise to me, but I was more emotional over who the person was, and it was the first I talked of the story and it’s context and it was so moving that even almost two months later it’s still a moving story for me, so I did cry when we were on the way home but it was because of this person reaching out to me and making me feel loved at a time when I was feeling unloved. So I may have made her feel uncomfortable, but I hope that the friend in her realizes that I was just emotional over the story than the break up.

All in all I felt like I was hanging out with my “old friend” today and not my “former girlfriend” and it was REALLY nice.

 

So I haven’t been around in awhile! How about some catching up?

First let’s celebrate over 300,000 hits!!! That’s something to be proud of right? I feel bad that I’ve gotten that many, and I haven’t been posting that much. So thank you to all those who continue to stop by and see how I’m doing (It only records you once), and thanks to all the new visitors for coming and visiting!

I am training for a 5K, then I’ll train for a half marathon! I am running every other morning with a friend who I have re-kindled a friendship with, and let me tell you she motivates me big time to get my workout IN! There is no slacking with her as my trainer, but I can’t thank her enough for what she has been doing for me, and I think she knows how much this means to me. It’s not only nice to get out and run, but it’s nice to be able to talk to someone too while getting some exercise in as well.

I am running for City Council in my hometown, I am super excited to be able to do this, I have the backing that I need, a great team in place, and the support that I have always wanted. It’s going to be a fun ride into November but I’ve never been so ready for something in a REALLY LONG TIME! It’s what I need right now in my life and I’m excited that I am taking on this new venture.

With all that being said I bet your wondering how “I AM DOING PERSONALLY”? That’s a good question, that I am more than happy to answer. I’m in such a good place in my life right now, I’m happy, I’m motivated, and I feel like I have everything on the track that it needs to be on. I’m pretty much OVER the heart break that is “the breakup”, it took me a good month to come to terms with the loss of a great fiancé. There were times that I would not be thinking about it, then out of no where someone would bring something up that would make me stop and think about her and the “what if”, but now when somebody mentions her, or asks about her I am able to answer it without tearing up, or getting emotional about it. I’ve had a very stressful week this week and I found myself coming home at night and wishing she was here so I could just talk to her about everything that’s been going on. I stopped myself last week from crying because I thought to myself “I wish she were here to go through this campaign stuff with me”, but as quickly as those emotions come, they go. I guess you can say I’m 90% healed from the hurt of losing her. I tell people the part that sucks the most is that her and I were best friends before dating, so not only did I lose a girlfriend, but at the same time I lost my BEST FRIEND! So I find myself trying to connect with old friendships to help fill the void of where she used to fill that “friend” space. Sure I could text her, or call her, but I’m not sure if that’s what she wants? I’m worried that if I do something like that she will take it as “he wants to get back with me”. I sometimes look at my phone and go “I wish a text from her would come through, it would make this hard day so much easier.” But then a friend texts me, and it makes me realize that more than one person loves me, I just have to take the time to think that.

Even though I’m 90% healed, I would say that I don’t miss the “girlfriend” aspect, as I do the “best friend” aspect of the former girlfriend. I’m sure one day that other 10% will be healed by the love that I am getting from other friends, or her and I will re-connect not as a “couple” but as “friends” because even though people come and go, you secretly wish that your “TRUE BEST FRIEND” will somehow come back!

Until Next Time…..FocusonthejourneynotthedestinationJoyisfoundnotinfinishinganactivitybutindoingit-GregAnderson_zps724e32f3

Tomorrow is not guaranteed to us….

Last night I was just closing my eyes to fall asleep when I got a text message, I didn’t want to roll over to look at my phone, I wanted to just let this one wait till morning, so I didn’t look….Ringtone goes off again! Fine! I’ll look, “someone must be dead, on fire, or worse” is what I thought to myself, unfortunately someone was “dead”, the text read “_Insert Name Here_ Died”….At first I thought “No! That’s crazy! Him and I just talked about my hate for “Wicked” there’s no way!” Sure enough my first best friend ever went home to meet his maker while sleeping yesterday. He is only in his mid-twenties, skinny, non-drinker, non-smoker, non-drug user, and was gone! The first person who I truly loved other than my Mom and Dad…Gone!

I’m going through a wide range of emotions that kind of don’t make sense to me right now. Unfortunately I’ve experienced death too many times in my life,both people my age and younger. While I don’t like going to them, I’d much rather go to one for a 90 year old then a 25 year old that’s for sure!

Take a moment today to tell your friends you love them, even if it’s an old friend!

 

This friend and I fell out of touch but he came back into the picture a year ago and he was the best! He had the biggest heart, and would do anything for you! God received ONE HELL of an Angel today! But I think he’s going to find a way to sew a cape onto that outfit they give, because he was destined to be a Super hero!

 

RIP My Friend! I PROMISE when I get up there we will have a freaking blast!

I also think he was taken because Heaven needed a Comic Book Store, so they took the best they could to open it! ;)

Mini Vacation/Rare Condition

WOW! I can’t believe I haven’t posted in awhile, things are going “ok”. I finally had to break down and announce to the world that the former girlfriend and I broke up as she went from being “engaged” to “single” and this caused an uproar with friends on Facebook. It sucked announcing to the world that your partner in crime for the last seven years is no longer your “PIC”. But life goes on, I think they all thought that the breakup just happened as I got an OUTPOURING of support from my friends, it was very moving, and I love it but I need them to know that I will be ok.

A Friend of mine and I went on a mini vacation this past weekend to Cincinnati, I had a BLAST.  A LOT of laughs were shared between the two of us, and a headache or three were suffered by me. It was rough, I’m not going to lie but I made it through no problem. We went to the Newport Aquarium, Terry’s Turf Club (a “Dive Bar” featured on “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives) and I had THE BEST chili I’ve ever had (and I hate chili) and I would put the burger that I consumed in my “Top 7 Best Burgers Ever Consumed”. We ended our trip at a HUGE grocery store called “Jungle Jims” where I was able to stock up on my “Gourmet Sodas” (the only time I will call “Pop”  “Soda). So all-in-all I had a great time and I am looking forward to my next “mini getaway”.

When we woke up on Sunday I had a minor migraine, which I suffer from on a daily basis, as I have something called “Arnold Chiari Malformation“. In a nutshell it gives me INTENSE migraines on a daily basis and I take medication to help with pain management. As the day progressed the migraine got worse, and worse, and when I got home I climbed into bed and just slept the night away. Woke up this morning still in HORRIBLE PAIN! I got into the doctor today for him to diagnose it and he gave me a shot that helped take the edge off of it a little bit. But it’s now getting worse, and worse. I came to work today because I don’t like taking days off but today has been a total struggle for me.

The breakup is still going well, I had a REALLY, REALLY rough week last week and I haven’t been able to respond your guys/girls e-mails and I apologize for that but I think I have slipped into a dark place right now. Give me a couple more days and e-mails should start coming from me again, I promise I won’t leave you hanging. Your e-mails always help pick me up on the dark days.

What do guys think about breakups?

People will sit there and think that the male will take the break up a lot easier than the female will take the breakup, and in some cases that may be true. But one thing that I have learned over the past two weeks is that males take it just as hard as the females do during this process.

I started this blog to not only help me, but also help those in the same situation I am in. I wanted to give people a perspective that they may not be able to read anywhere else. I tried reading about how to get over breakups and they were written by professional writers or journalists who may have never had to deal with a breakup or haven’t been through one in ages, I wanted to give them something to read that was fresh, real, and raw. The words that I have typed into this blog are what I am truly feeling at the time.

Guys take breakups just as hard as the females, maybe even harder. I’m sure there is some kind of scientific theory out there as to why that is, but as someone who barely passed chemistry I got my own theory. My theory is that guy’s are afraid to show affection towards someone, we are afraid to let someone in and see how we act in certain emotional situations. That’s something that many of us don’t like to show (that we do in fact care for furry little animals, and do dig chick flicks).  We get so wrapped up in giving this level of emotion towards a person that when this person leaves, it’s like they are leaving with that fact that we won’t have anyone to cry around and feel ok about ourselves, we won’t have someone to say “I love you too” and mean it, we won’t have someone who will make us feel “loved”! We won’t have any of that, our guy friends can’t give us that! So I think when a breakup happens us guys feel like someone has taken our emotional well being away from us! So now we lay around and cry about it to no one! We don’t want to let anyone know we are hurting so we try to avoid doing anything involving people at all costs.

So breakups suck just as much for us, as it does for the female. Now I guess I should add a disclaimer here and say: EVERY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT!!!

Even though I’ve been having an EXTREMELY rough past two days I guess I can mask the pain today and celebrate “National Doughnut Day”!

Work provided us three dozen doughnuts today to be able to celebrate properly.

Doughnut Day

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